Well, quitting smoking sucks. There’s no doubt about it – and anyone that has tried and failed… or even tried and succeeded, knows this. I’m a cold-turkey kind of girl myself, so that makes it even worse, I guess. Maybe not. Maybe it just makes it about the same as it is for everyone else. I don’t know. I just know the Suck-o-Meter is in the red zone most of the time.
Sadly, as I write this, I am smoking one of the last two cigarettes I have…. but it’s from a pack I bought over 2 days ago, so that has to say something, doesn’t it? It’s much better than the 2 packs a day I was smoking. Ugh. That’s terrible.
About 6 years ago I started smoking again –which is even dumber than smoking to begin with. I hadn’t smoked for over 4 years. I don’t remember it really sucking (the quitting part, that is) before. I suppose it probably did. I don’t know. Maybe it’s like childbirth. I’ve heard people say that you don’t remember the pain after a while …. I don’t know. Having never had a child, I couldn’t tell you – but I think that, if someone ever drove a Buick through my abdomen (which was the graphic image one person used to help those of us who haven’t had children really understand it) – I would probably still remember that, no matter how cute and wonderful and smart and talented my child was.
At any rate, this is the end of my life as a smoker. I think I’m ready. I hope I’m ready. I hope everyone else is ready. LOL. They tell me that because of my size and weight and whatnot that most nicotine products on the market are not suitable for me – they would be too strong. I don’t understand that, but I’ll take their word for it. Ugh. This is going to suck for a while.
I have armed myself with an extensive list of things to do besides smoke. So that should help. I hear that Chantix is a viable alternative for people who cannot use the stop-smoking aides that contain nicotine. Then again, when you are strapped for cash and wondering every day if you will make the bills (welcome to the life of a restaurant server), it’s hard to think that putting out money for something that may or may not make the whole process suck less is a good idea.
Well, on to a new day – one with better lungs and cardiovascular health! 
